Umineko No Naku Koro Ni Episode I-IV: Furniture boy’s foolishness

Taking place where we last left off, the cousins discover Eva and Hideyoshi murdered in their room. George can only break down as he rages laments his terrible luck.

Opedius Complex…

George cries in the background when they return to the living room while Battler and Jessica discuss the recent murders. Jessica speculates the culprit doing something when Eva opened the door, but Battler says that reasoning doesn’t work at all since Eva’s body was on the bed and Hideyoshi’s was in the bathroom. A perfect ‘closed room’. Maria butts in saying that a Witch did it and Battler gets annoyed with Maria’s claiming it’s a witch and scolds her, wanting her to consider other people’s feelings. and alas, Jessica and George demonstrate how slow they are…

but it is possible for a gremlin like you…

Maria getting what she deserves

No shit, Sherlock…

Sometime after, Maria says that something smells and the others figure out that it’s the boiler room. Kanon and Kumasawa are sent to investigate, but Kumasawa’s old ass gets scared and leaves Furniture Boy to investigate alone. He then tries to pull a Rena on Beatrice and starts to proclaim that he’s no longer furniture. He truly did not know his place.

Aww, someone doesn’t wanna be “polished” anymore…

And thus, the furniture got broken.

Once everyone arrives, they find Kanon on the floor with a wound in his chest. Jessica already goes into a panic for Kanon and She and Nanjo take Kanon upstairs so the doctor can go to work. They also find that a burnt corpse is responsible for the stench inside the room. They realize it’s Kinzo’s corpse when they find the 6 toe thing he has. The corpse has six toes. Kinzo is dead. On top of that, there’s an ice pick weapon in his forehead too.

The group returns back to the living room to wait on Jessica and Nanjo. Battler learns that Jessica had feelings for Kanon. At this point it’s clear that the culprit has a master key.

Genji suggests that Kinzo’s room is the safest room for them all to go to since the door has an auto-lock system and the only way in that room is to use the two keys in their possession. When they get to the door, Maria adds that the door knob has the same scorpion marking that the charms She gave away. They enter the room and the door locks by itself and Natsuhi asks Genji about Beatrice in which he responds that she’s already dead. Natsuhi places a can of Mackerel on that table in there and continue discussing Kinzo and his Magic fetish. Battler then realizes something about the epitaph the second he hears “sacrifices”. He runs up to it with the cousins following to ask him what’s wrong. Natsuhi follows them to the portrait and they read the epitaph to realize that all the deaths are related to it. Maria speaks more Golden Land and Witch nonsense and then goes O HAY LOOK ITS A LETTER. Natsuhi then points her gun at Maria, Genji, Kumasawa and Nanjo, and subsequently forces them out.

Again, go back to Hogwarts

Ah, so that’ the censor…

Five bucks says you put it there…

Niggers like them need to be hung.

Natsuhi is promising to become She-hulk…

You mean seacats…

Battler, after reading the letter, finds a magic circle. He and the others look through Kinzo’s grimoirs to find that its the third magic circle of mars, the one of discord. They realize that that letter was a set up to make Genji and the servants leave the room. The phone rings and Natsuhi picks up to hear Maria singing a strange song.

They then rush out of Kinzo’s room and go inside the parlor where they find Genji, Kumasawa, and Nanjo murdered with ice-pick weapons piercing the stomach, knee and leg respectively. On top of that, their faces were destroyed too. Maria’s facing the wall, singing that damned song.


Now that episode was pretty good aside from the obvious stupidity of SOME people. The supposed witch claimed five more victims, leaving five left. The way Maria was singing, one would be inclined to believe she’s dead too. But you never know… I mean, Kinzo being burned… the witch got tired of him fapping on her portrait. But now I’m confused. There’s no way Maria could’ve killed those three by herself. The culprit had to’ve been in the room with them. Looks like the Ninth Twilight is about to begin…


Posted on September 21, 2009, in Anime, Umineko no Naku Koro Ni. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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