Umineko No Naku Koro Ni Episode II-II: Pimp Beatrice is pimpin’

The episode starts with Rosa and Maria. Gremlin girl looks forward to Halloween, so she’ll be getting annoying with the uu~uu’ing. Be sure to have a glass of wine ready if you wanna make a drinking game out of every time you hear uu~ or whenever Rosa slaps Maria.

Rosa and Maria are at the streets to get to the train, which leads to the plane and then get to the boat for Rokkenjima. Maria wanted Halloween candy. The Early kind. She then whines and moans about not getting treats and wanting to dress up as a witch. The whining continues  even on the train until an old woman gives Maria some candy, but Rosa takes the candy away and gets fed up with her uu~uu sound. Commence the slapping, then cease when people look at you crazy.

Denied…

……..

Trix are for kids…

didn’t the police tell you to stop the child abuse?

Slap happyguess not…

Oh don’t stop now, it’s just getting good…

Meanwhile, on Rokkenjima, Krauss stares at the portrait of Beatrice and is then greeted by his hawt emotional wife. She informs him that Nanjo and Genji are on their side and that they won’t let their greedy siblings get their hands on the inheritance. How shady. the one-winged eagle servants are at work and Genji tells’em that their guest is an important guest. He leaves, and Shannon leaves too when Emo Furniture tries to get her to speak of her relationship with four-eyes.

What choo lookin at?

Ain’t he one of’em?

President Obama is the only guest I know…

Meanwhile, George is in the bathroom, practicing Asking for sex proposing to Shannon. Rudolf comes out of the stall and gives his two cents on that minor bit. Meanwhile, Maria finally gets a treat and Battler’s back once again, this time being perverted to a loli. Yeah, his iteration of Maria’s line was perverted. She then says she wants dress up as Beatrice for Halloween. Which in itself is a total clue, since someone else is totally doing it while going around killin’ people.

You are not Lelouch Vi Brittania…

He’s in your bathroom, watching you fail…

Are you saying that you go both ways?

You guys should head to Crystal Lake instead of Rokkenjima…

Lolicon alert!

No…

Jessica takes her chance to stare into the eyes of the portrait that look down on her for being in love with Furniture. Old lady Kumasawa comes down to tell her a little about some japanese legend related to Rokkenjima and the witch, which seems pretty unreal and uncommon for Witches. Demons and such being released? What’s this supposed to be, Ga-rei? Get the hell outta here with that. Next thing you know, I’ll probably be hearing shit about Naraku…

Wut

I believe you mean Tetsuo Shima

It’ll become a new VH1 show with standard format until one becomes her furniture…

Zaten Kesshun, I REJECT.

Once Jessica hears Kumasawa’s story, Kinzo is still being a crazy nigger, pretty much wanting his family to be used for sacrifices. As for the rest of the family, like usual, they arrive on Rokkenjima and we finally get our first meta-world scene between Battler and Beatrice. It’s brief, but still counts.

Yesh. Only if you let me put my token in your slot.

And until you accept my penny, I will continue to desire your slot…

Sounds kinky…

Once the meta-world scene ends, Maria begins talking about witches again and Rosa makes Maria stay behind with her until the others are out of sight. She then proceeds to slap Maria some more for speaking of witches. Her child Abuse ability levels up when she begins pulling on Maria’s hair, takes her candy and stomps on it like ants at a picnic. Rosa makes Maria stay outside while she goes inside the mansion. Emo furniture can only feel sorry for the little gremlin, as she claims Beatrice will fix everything.

Didn’t At least you know how to slap first and ask questions later…

Tear it out! Then break fingers! Kill the gremlin!

How ironic…

She knows that she looks down on emo furniture…

Meanwhile, the adults get to speak of the family inheritance as usual but of course, it’s really cut short when they realize a storm is coming and Rosa runs outside to Maria, not wanting to have her conscious filled with guilt. The adults look at her like she’s lost her mind. Once Rosa gets out there, Maria goes cute again saying she’s glad she’s back. *cue closeup of Rosa’s bosom*

And he wishes that you all would die…

Must’ve seen a recent CNN report on child abuse…

Yeah, I know you are…

Was it the wicked witch from Oz?

After the apology, Beatrice shows up in a smokin’ hot outfit and smokin hot tattoo on her thigh to boot. She seriously looks much hotter in that outfit than her original. Maria sees and she’s happy as Rosa is in shock and completely speechless. Maria wants her to use her magic to fix the candy Rosa destroyed and she does just that… AFTER Maria closes her eyes. What the hell. If you’re Anti-fantasy, then you’re gonna call bullshit on that. Anyway, Maria jumps up and down in joy while Rosa is STILL speechless. Beato then gives her and Maria a letter that must not be opened until the family conference.

Delicious…

Lookin’ pimp there, Beato…

You’re this person’s mom with all the SUGOI’s…

Beato: You’ve just been branded as my bitch…

Beatrice leaves Maria and Rosa and heads for the mansion, gets greeted by Mr. Clean, and she tells him he’s aged. Sorry my fair witch, good cleaning products never age… Of course, Kyrie comes in and sees Genji escorting someone and she realizes that person is Beatrice just by glancing at the portrait. *cue Second Meta-world scene*. Beatrice tells Battler that the whole basis he has for denying her was that she was never on the gameboard. Now that she is, she scores one point. But that nigger Battler doesn’t back down easily…

you catch on quick…

and not seeing her sexy…

Battler wouldn’t turn down a move you’d make on him…

Once the Meta world scene ends, Emo Furniture serves queen Beatrice some tea and of course, takes the opportunity to get on the case of Shannon, threatening to choose her as a sacrifice. Kanon is all NO DUN DO IT. Beatrice then asks him to kneel and kiss her toes. Good boy…  After that, Gohda is bitching to Mr. Clean about not being able to serve Beatrice and Shannon overhears this. Kanon goes and says ITS YOUR FAULT THIS IS HAPPENING. Yeah, jealous furniture is jealous. Shannon then takes the time to serve Beatrice a drink and then tells her that she doesn’t care about her. That’s your way of resisting her? The queen is not pleased…

He’s furniture, he CAN’T be fun…

Should’ve kicked him in the mouth…

You’re breaking her heart…

Once the two are done talking, the family conference has started, Maria hasn’t read any letter, but before Gohda leaves, Kyrie asked if the guest will be joining everyone and everyone begins to wonder who this guest is. Gohda answers that the guest is Beatrice. Everyone is unable to believe that Beatrice is really at the mansion. Some speculate that Beatrice might’ve been Kinzo’s mistress and Natsuhi denies this. Some time later, the cousins head to the guest house, and George and Shannon eventually have another cheesy lovey dovey moment.

Ever tried paying attention?

Of course, he has you right?

Put it on the middle finger and point it at him…

BOW CHICKA WOW WOW

During that moment, The adults are inside of a never-before-seen chapel, each of them acknowledging Beatrice as a witch. I have no idea what the hell she did, but for them all to acknowledge her like this, is something wrong in itself. Kyrie is the last to acknowledge her for some reason as well. Are we missing something here?

That it’s not butter!

Did i just miss an episode of Hikaru no Go?

~~~~

Alright, this episode left me with questions. Well, I’m not on an anti-fantasy or anti-mystery side. But that magic scene with Beatrice fixing Maria’s candy, I’m calling bullshit on. No way in hell did Beatrice  use magic for real. And her being on Rokkenjima means nothing. It could simply be someone in disguise. I also have to comment on the scene in the chapel, because either we missed something, or they intentionally didn’t show what Beatrice did exactly to make’em acknowledge her like this. Kyrie being the last to acknowledge her, I have heard that she was supposed to question Beato when she first came into the mansion. I think this was supposed to happen before that meta-world scene. Either way, the episode was decent at best. Hawt Beato made my day.

Time to blog the next episode…

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Posted on September 23, 2009, in Anime, Umineko no Naku Koro Ni. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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