The Watchmen Movie sucked

It’s as the title says. And here’s why. The rest of this entry is movie spoilers.

The only character in the movie that was worth it…

This is supposed to be an anime blog. So why am i ranting about THIS movie? Because everyone fucking hyped it up. So.

I remember that time when the Watchmen movie first came out in theaters and everyone was saying how great of a movie it was and god forbid anyone diss that movie. When it came out on DVD, I decided to check it out.


It turned out to be a waste of 3 hours and 20 dollars. 😐

I mean, what the hell. This movie kinda sucked. BAD. And I’m tempted to say it on the [as] boards to get a good rise out of a certain group of Watchmen fans for lulz. But alas, I shall proceed with the rant.

Thing is, the movie had a premise easy to understand, I’ll give it that. Said premise: The Minutemen were seemingly killed in the beginning, one by one, and we’re here trying to figure out who’s doing it and why.

Well. This is where it gets tedious, frustrating, and boring. It’s almost like i just marathon’d the whole Endless Eight arc of Haruhi. That’s just how low I’m willing to go in this rant. Without further ado…

We’re stuck in all of these little side stories, and trying to find out who killed The Comedian (That’s the guy that got thrown outta the window at the beginning of the movie). It had been apparent that this same guy killed most of the other Minutemen, and he seems super strong.

Whelp, enough about that, let’s get to the pointless side stories. The only person worth watching really, was Rorschach (however you spell that guy’s name.). He’s been trying to get to the bottom of the mystery of who’s killing the Minutemen. But It wasn’t much of him solving the mystery as it was more about the other Watchmen and their stories and whatnot. What I’m ticked off about, is they’re doing shit you’d see in a series than an actual movie. I mean, sure, Character development is good/great/whatever blah blah blah. But like, The movie took too long to get to the point.

The point? Who killed the Comedian and the other minutemen and why. They didn’t find out until the last 45 minutes of the movie. Even then, it kinda sucked. The middle parts of the movie were a big snooze fest… ‘cept the action scenes, they were good. But still. The action was scarce in this movie. Very Scarce. And the whole thing with Dr. Manhattan and his manhood… 😐

And The rip-off batman, i forgot his name… He couldn’t get it up the first time, so they went to save lives to get it up. DUMBEST THING EVER. I’m sure that’s not the purpose of that scene, but it came off that way. And then there was the part when we finally find out who the hell is responsible for those deaths. Some blond guy who looks like an older Malfoy from Harry Potter. He kicked Rip-off batman and Rorschach’s asses And he didn’t even die in the end. He winded up making it look like Dr. Manhood (That’s my name for Dr. Manhattan due to his dick being exposed for most of the movie) blew up part of New York and other parts of the world.

And here’s the one scene I hated most: When Rorschach was killed (exploded actually) by Dr. Manhood cuz he was gonna tell the people what really happened, but apparently Blondie’s plan attained peace and they didn’t want that peace ruined, so Dr. Manhood exploded the guy. 😐

I raged so hard. And then the movie ends with Rorschach’s journal being found. 😐

Like, the bad guy didn’t even die or get defeated. I mean, wtf.

It took this long to get to the point of the movie, and it still turned out to be stupid. So therefore, 3 hours and 20 dollars wasted. Ugh.




Posted on September 30, 2009, in Random, Rants and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. I’m not even gonna bother watching this movie.

    My creed, “If Jubbz don’t like it…i wont either”

    Well….for most things anyway lol.

  2. I thought it was alright, but the movie just fails so badly in comparison to the comic. Even the author of Watchmen said it himself that a story like this could only be left in comic format because that’s how he intended it. As someone who got to read the thing, shit’s just more epic in this form. Well, that’s what you get for having the director of 300 get at such an old story. =\

    • I’ve heard plenty of good stuff about the comic. At this point, I’m tempted to read it and hopefully get a better story.

      And i didn’t know the director of 300 did this movie. >.>
      Then again, 300 was entertaining. He just failed with Watchmen.

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